My oh my, I’ve been so bad about writing lately. It’s just been a really busy past couple of months. I hope to get back to writing lately, perhaps around twice a week? I start nightfloat again starting tonight, so you may get some random, sleep-deprived posts from me over the next month. Just warning ya. ; )
So it’s now been about a month since I moved into my new place and moved in with Dean. One of my attendings who is about to retire jokingly (or maybe he wasn’t?) said, “you are living in sin!” Haha. He was kidding, but I suppose some may think that, since we are not married. I know the religion I follow (Christianity) wouldn’t officially condone moving in with someone until you are married…and in some respects, I agree. The part I agree with is the notion that you shouldn’t move in with someone unless you are already committed (like, for life). I have never been someone to blindly follow rules or the Bible without considering the underlying message or idea, and so here are my thoughts:
I believe in life commitment to ONE partner. There are biological and science based arguments that humans aren’t supposed to be monogamous or in a single relationship for a lifetime, but I think that is BS.
Dean and I are committed to each other. Our moving in together was not to “test it out”, which I think is a horrible reason to move in with someone…you are setting yourself up for failure if that’s your mentality. Why? There will always be little arguments and disagreements with the person you are living with or are committed/married/engaged to. It’s inevitable, and if you move in with someone without the commitment, you won’t have that mentality to work it out and compromise when needed. If you are not yet committed to someone, everything is still about “me” rather than “us”, and any little disagreement you’ll use as an excuse as to why it potentially may not workout longterm with that potential partner.
Dean and I may not have an official marriage ring on our fingers yet, but we are committed, and that’s what I think is important. If I refused to move in with him until we were officially married, then I would be being “legalistic” in my beliefs, and I despise churches/people who are legalistic in their beliefs. I.e. they think that if they blindly follow the rules of their religion, that’s what puts them good in God’s eyes, and they tend to look down upon and be condescending to those who don’t strictly follow the rules. Faith is what is important. Striving to understand the underlying message/idea of what your religion promotes is more important in my eyes than blindly following some rule without any consideration of its underlying message.
Anyway, that’s just my two cents.
So how has it been so far living with someone else? It’s been great! Dean and I have a lot more time together, and this may sound corny, but one of the things I love about living with him is that we have fun doing just the everyday things, like doing laundry, grocery shopping, lounging around on the weekend drinking coffee, etc. I love getting to share even these supposedly “mundane” activities with him.
Speaking of everyday activities, one of our regularly activities is doing something active together. Today we are planning on a run through various Chicago neighborhoods, so I’ll catch y’all later.
But before I go, one quick thing: Obviously Dean is an important part of my life, and so thus he is often included in my posts. I know there are a lot of people out there who are single or have had difficult breakups, so the last thing I want to do is make that seem harder on them by constantly talking about my relationship with Dean. Trust me, I have been there. I never had a serious relationship until Dean. I was basically single my entire life until I met him when I was 29, and before I met him, I was convinced I was going to remain that single the rest of my life, so hang in there. I know it can be hard.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I’ll be stuck at the hospital the next two nights : (, so stay out of trouble and be safe!