It is another beautiful, peaceful morning. Dean is still asleep as I sit here on the couch with my computer, with the morning sun brightening the room and a view overlooking the city:
The only sound right now is the hum of the refrigerator. I love the “sound” of silence…it is during these times that I can process my thoughts, hear my voice, hear God’s voice…..
Yesterday, after my lazy morning, we drove out to the suburbs to meet Dean’s sister Emily for a sushi-filled lunch. We just love this one sushi restaurant near where she lives that has an all-you-can-eat sushi deal. Unlimited sushi = dangerously good, and we went out to town ordering godzilla rolls, spider rolls, nigiri, soup, and much more.
Their Godzilla Roll was ginormous, and Emily challenged Dean and I to eat the end pieces in one mouthful:
Afterwards, we met up with Dean’s other sister, Katie and hung out with her and her two nephews. Dean and Donovan spent the afternoon hard at work building a Leggo police car:
My favorite moment up there while those two were working on the Leggos was when Donovan looked at Dean’s hair and said, “Your hair is sticking up too much. You need a haircut.” Haha. It was especially funny hearing a four year old tell this to Dean knowing how much pride Dean takes in his hair : )
Yesterday one of my friends got engaged, and not long ago another good friend of mine from college got engaged! I’m at that age now (late 20s-early 30s) where EVERYONE seems to be either getting engaged or popping out babies. I seriously need to start a savings account not for my wedding, but for everyone else’s weddings! Haha, but seriously, it makes me so happy to see the friends I love meet that special person and be so happy together. It’s an exciting time.
And the babies….holy babies! I feel like half of my facebook feed are pictures of my friends’ babies! You would think I would get annoyed by it, but I actually love it. The only thing I’m not crazy about is when people post pictures of their ultrasound….I’m quite fine NOT seeing a picture of your uterus, thank you : )
Of course, seeing all my friends starting families makes me excited about having a family one day, and naturally, since I’m getting married soon, I’ve thought about it myself.
For better or worse, there are few things in my life I don’t plan for. Naturally, if God has another plan for you, you roll with it and change “your” plans, but I don’t like leaving things to chance. I’m not at a point in my life/career where I can just “get pregnant when it happens.” Like, delivering a baby right before my boards (as I know one person who did) would not be ideal. Nor would having morning sickness during the full day board exam.
Having children during residency is challenging. People do it. They make it work, but I don’t know if I’d be able to. I remember my intern year showing up at the hospital at 5:15 in the morning to get ready for surgical rounds. My colleague, who was just starting her 24-30 hour call at that time, was already there and had already been up since 3:00 am breast feeding and taking care of her young baby she had delivered not that long ago. Again, this was before a 24-30 hour call. I never once heard her complain and she did just fine, but boy, it is not easy.
Of course, this brings up the question, is there ever a good time?? If you’re in residency, it’s hard, because you’re working less than ideal hours and trying to learn all you can. These are your crucial years to become as well trained in your chosen field as possible. The same thing applies to fellowship. And then as an attending, you don’t want to join a new practice and then be like, “see ya! I’m on maternity leave. Be back in 6 weeks.” Of course if you wait until you’re a few years into your practice, well then your internal clock is ticking, because by then you’re in your mid to late 30s, and if you want multiple kids….
So there really is NO ideal time. Personally, had I been married when I was younger, I don’t think I’d be able to have a kid during residency. I think I would have been a less than ideal resident and a less than ideal mother. I would have been stretched too thin, too stressed, and too tired to do either “job” well. I’m NOT saying it’s NOT good to have a kid during residency, and I am NOT saying that if you do have a kid during residency you won’t be as good of a resident or Mom, I’m just saying that I don’t think I would be. Everyone is different. For those who do make it happen, I greatly admire you–and I don’t say that sarcastically. I am serious, I don’t know how you do it!!
Favorite sushi roll?
This is a touchy subject, but for my friends/readers pursuing busy careers, did you put a lot of thought into the timing of starting a family? If you’re a physician, did you or could you handle having a kid during residency?