So I woke up to this morning and came across this status update:
Haha. Dean’s at his Bachelor party this weekend, and it looks like he’s been having a good time, although maybe not anymore this morning….
The way things worked out, I’m not going to end up having a bachelorette party. Between leaving for DC next week for a month and coming back and working essentially 3 weeks straight, and with my entire bridal party scattered all over the United States, it was just too difficult to coordinate. I obviously love seeing my close friends, but I’m not really that disappointed ….
I don’t really enjoy being the center of attention when going out.
I don’t like drinking a lot in one setting. I guess it’s a control thing? I hate feeling out of control, and when I feel that way, I end up eating a ton to try to make the drunk feeling go away, and then I wake up the next day pissed that I ate so much. Yes, I guess I really do have control issues ; )
I hate taking shots. HATE it. I just really don’t like liquor except on occasion in well-made, not-to-sweet mixed drinks. I think college and high school (yes, I drank in high school…dad, don’t be mad) ruined any chance of me ever liking any sort of liquor again.
I know not all bachelorette parties involving dressing up wearing some silly jeweled crown thing on your head, going out to some club, taking shots and getting drunk….. My friend had one in cabin/house up north, where we all just hung out by the pool and chilled. That would be my dream kind of bachelorette party. No going out….just hanging out altogether, chilling, laughing, and sipping on wine. Logistically, it was just too hard to make that happen with my schedule and everyone all across the U.S.
It’s fine, though, because I’ll get to see everyone in 2.5 months for the actual wedding!
So my working out and blogging slump continues : ( I was tolerating working out inside for quite awhile, but I have now developed cabin fever and the idea heading down to my gym is absolutely not appealing to me at all. I have done a few runs outside, but my knee is only slowly starting to get better, so I can’t run more than ~ 6miles at a time.
In my last post I wrote about how sometimes taking a break from running can be a good thing and yet how I still struggle when I cut way back on my running/working out. I think the hardest thing for me is developing this thought that I’ll lose all of my running ability and never be able to run a fast marathon again. I know I am being somewhat irrational about this, but I am now in my thirties, and I’m not sure how many peak running years I have left….if I put off any dedicated type of training for too long, I will reach a point where it IS harder to reach the desired peak training/running that I desire.
The way I see it, next winter/spring may be one of my last opportunities to really train hard and try to get one last PR in. I can’t focus on running until October when my wedding and Boards exam are behind me, and then sometime in the next couple of years we will be looking into starting a family, so there goes 9 months of running hard and probably another 6 months after that with work and a new baby, and then I’m getting to be in my early-mid 30s, and well we want more than one kid…..
I know, I know….I’m not some Olympic hopeful. Running is just a hobby, but for me, part of the joy I have with participating in any athletic endeavor is the competitive aspect of it and winning. No, I’m not necessarily talking about beating other people because God knows I will never win a marathon, but I love beating myself. I love working hard towards a goal, the thrill of success, of running a faster time, of getting a new PR.
Most of you know I used to figure skate competitively growing up. Every once and awhile, Ill miss it desperately, but I don’t really have a strong desire to actual skate, because if I can’t go out there, be good, land a double axel, then I’ll get so frustrated with myself. You know what I mean? Maybe it’s a pride thing, I dunno, but either way, I loved skating not just because I loved to skate, but because I loved competing and constantly challenging myself to be better.
So yes, I enjoy running for fun, but there will always be a part of me that desires the competitive part of it, and I just don’t enjoy it as much when I’m not excitedly training for something.