2.5 months more to go. I can’t decide if that seems really soon or still a really long ways away!
- The baby is now the size of a small cabbage according to What to Expect, weighing in at 2.9 lbs and measuring 17 inches in length.
- He’s very active at night, much less so during the day.
- His kicks are more blunted compared to Addison’s, as I have an anteriorly placed placenta this time.
- According to my OB, he’s already well behaved, as his head is down. Let’s hope he stays that way!
- I feel like the end of 2nd trimester and beginning of 3rd trimester so far have been more difficult this time than last time, although it’s difficult to say what is due to the pregnancy and what is due to the differences in my overall life situation when compared to last time. I can tell you I’ve been way more fatigued the past month. It’s hard to get up in the morning, and I pretty much always fall asleep on the couch at night when Dean and I are watching TV after Addison is put to bed. Everything just seems so much more draining. Maybe it’s because I haven’t quite recovered from the mental and physical drain of boards and/or because this time with #2, I still have #1 to take care of at the end of the day. I want to say I’m looking forward to getting my energy back after the pregnancy, but I’m not sure if that’s going to happen any time soon with a newborn to take care of!
- Running: running is becoming more difficult to fit in and less fun.
- Running is more difficult to fit in because of the above mentioned fatigue–I just can’t get up in time to fit in a run before work without then having to get ready like a mad woman. It’s just too tiring and stressful trying to squeeze it in before work. Instead, I’ve been trying to leave for work early (5:30-5:45) on some days in hopes of actually getting done by 4 so that I can try to squeeze in a quick run or workout before picking Addison up.
- Running is less fun because it’s getting harder to breathe (presumably from the added weight as well as less room for my diaphragm to move), my stomach has been feeling very uncomfortably stretched out lately, and the baby’s head feels like it’s compressing my bladder. For instance, I will stop by a public bathroom to pee and then realize the sensation is still there because it’s coming from the baby’s head, and then 10-15 minutes later I feel like I need to stop again. All this being said, I still feel that the benefit of running and exercising for me far exceeds these negative aspects of it, so I’m committed to keeping it up as long as I can. Running and fitness is obviously something I’m passionate about and is a big part of my life, so I think stopping would be difficult on me from a mental standpoint more than anything else. Also, I know by keeping a baseline up now will make it easier to get back in shape after the baby is born. Right now, I’d say I’m averaging ~4-6 mile run 3 days a week, but that’s variable.
- Other thoughts: This whole ISIS/Paris situation has really shaken me up. It is so hard for me to comprehend how a human being(s) can have complete disregard for life. I just can’t even wrap my mind around the evil that is in this world. This event has also made me do some soul searching regarding my reaction to other events going on in this world. Saturday morning someone posted an article regarding our selective grief and outrage to the Paris attacks over other attacks and horrific situations worldwide. I thought it was a good article and perspective. I reposted, and I hope people don’t interpret the article or post as being meant to shame people for their support of the people of Paris. I love seeing all the French flags and colors in support of the French people. It reminds that there are good and caring people in this world and gives me hope that we will team together to fight what is wrong and evil. I think it is wonderful. We need to be united. But the article I read did make me reflect on some things about myself: I didn’t pay any attention to the Beirut bombing, I barely recollect the Kenyan shootings, and I am numb to the shootings and murder that go on in my very backyard here in Chicago every day. Why? It’s not that I don’t care, but I guess I get so caught up in my own life bubble and (trivial) stresses that I’ve turned a deaf ear to what’s going on to other fellow humans around my city and in the world. Is that wrong? I mean, we can’t solve all of humanities problems and we can’t always just focus on what’s negative in this world, but I don’t know….I just felt a little bad about my ignorance. Maybe I can pray more or learn to live and see beyond my comfort zone/bubble so that I can do more to help those in need.
- One reaction there is no denying, at least for me, is a sense of fear. I guess my fear stems from the fact that Dean and I are traveling to New York City in 2.5 weeks for a little baby moon before #2 arrives. In the past, I’ve not been someone to worry excessively about safety things, but becoming a mother has changed that (yes, mom, you can tell me I told you so ; ) ). Not to sound morbid, but now, the thought of something ever happening to me doesn’t worry me because I’m afraid of death in and of itself, but because I cannot bear the thought of Addison growing up not knowing me or how much I love her. Does that make sense? Am I being irrational about suddenly feeling worried about our trip to New York? Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones causing me to overreact (poor pregnancy hormones….I use them as a scapegoat for whenever I feel like I’m acting out of line, haha). We’re probably going to continue as planned, but I can’t deny I am a little nervous about it and being separated from Addison. I keep reminding myself, though, that my chances of dying in a car accident on my way to work is far greater than being the victim of a terrorist attack, and we can’t live our lives in fear.
- I hate to end on such a negative and somber note, so I’ll throw in a positive thing, at least for me: I passed my boards! I actually found out about 2 weeks ago, and it was quite terrifying: we got the email that the results were back, but then the website crashed and no one could log on for about 45 minutes. I was so nervous I was nauseated. What a relief, though, when I was able to log on and see that I passed. In the past 10 years I have taken 3 USMLE (medical licensing) examinations, a clinical USMLE exam (part of step 3), and now 2 radiology board exams…that’s 6 major medical licensing and board exams plus countless others during medical school….now I am finally board certified in my specialty and don’t have to take another exam for 10 years!! Woohoo! On with life : )